Love hurts?: Ask yourself these 4 questions

by Nahdin Sabla

The question is never: How can this guy say he loves me and hurt me so much?

The questions are:

1. How am I participating in the situation?
2
. What is love to me?
3
. Why I am choosing a relationship where I am being mistreated?
4
. What am I learning? Rather than, Why is this happening?

Your true self is underneath the emotions you don’t want to feel…

Let’s break it down!

1. How am I participating in the situation?

Are you bottling up and not expressing how you really really feel?

After not being treated respectfully, do you make excuses for the other person?

Do you defend him?

Do you stay by his side?

Or you get angry and make him beg for forgiveness, that sooner than later you accept and then everything is ok until the next time he disrespects you because its a given it will happen again?

For a situation to exist you need a minimum of 2 parties.

If you are suffering by some else’s behavior, but you still text, answer calls, attend meetings and give your presence to a person that does not respect you, well that is exactly how you are participating.

Engaging.

Giving your attention and energy.

2. What is love to me?

It is common that we believe that love hurts when we have been born into abusive, manipulative, broken homes.

When the motherly love does not flow and it is rather toxic, we end up learning that love means to constantly suffer, to be constantly trying to change someone and controlling their every move… among other traits.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Sit up straight, why you can behave like a lady with manners? I am going to make a fine young lady out of you, you have no manners, you are like a savage, do not throw yourself at the couch, fall gracefully like a lady.

Why can’t you be like your cousin, sister that other little girl that behaves so good?… do you know why am I always looking at your every move and correcting you?

Because I am your mother/grandma/aunt/guardian and I love you and I want the best for you.

And

??????????????????BAM !?????????????????

LOVE = constantly trying to change someone + controlling them 24/7

This is the biggest block of motherly love that we carry from the past generation and it ends with us.

IT MUST END WITH US

If you are reading this it is because you too are on the journey of transcending and redirecting our future as a collective.

Love is to be
Love is freedom
Love is life
Love is creation

Love, in essence, is self-love, once we allow ourselves to BE fully, from a place of acceptance and appreciation, then inevitably you will feel love for all humanity.

It is delicious to Love everybody and everything. Dr. Sebi.

3. Why I am choosing a relationship where I am being mistreated?

Custom and fear, are the main “freezers” and “going back the same road once again” by excellence.

Conformism and fear again.

Illusion and the idea of what it was or how things used to be compared to how they are now.

How they really truly are!…

This is the cycle you are consciously or unconsciously choosing to live in, I could give you so many tools on how to break free from this, but in reality, the only thing that would make you break free is the AHA MOMENT.

The sudden realization that you finally got enough, that you are D-O-N-E with the situation, only then when you are ready, you will make the decision to break the cycle of self-sabotage.

4. What am I learning? Rather than, Why is this happening?


This question opens your mind to possibilities and gets you out of feeling like a victim of your life.
If you are still stuck in why is this happening to me?

The answer is: For you to LEARN.

What exactly? Well… it depends on the specifics, but in general:

Self-love
Healthy Limits
What a toxic relationship feels like
Your own beliefs about love
Your dark side and greatest fears mirrored
How far can you go in life being unhappy
How much pain do you need to feel that is the time to change
Attachment
Unattachment
Self-worth
Self-esteem
Self-respect

Did you notice that nothing that you have to learn has anything to do with HIM?

Yes, it is always and will forever be about YOU, isn’t that amazing?

Take responsibility:

STOP

PLAYING

THE VICTIM

…you are not fooling anyone just FYI.

You can then leverage your disappointment rather than just attempting to “get rid of it” or swallowing it in.

Relationships serve as mirrors, they show us our brightest light or our darkest shadow, it is up to us to create a paradise with someone and also with everything else we come into contact with.

By consciously acknowledging and accepting our shadow side, we can create a healthy relationship with ourselves and others that grows exponentially every day.

I water you and you water me.

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